My Most Embarrassing Moment

Ever feel like you need a little comic relief? Me too.

Fortunately I don’t need to look any further than myself, not because I bubble with hilarity, but because I happen to have an extensive repertoire of embarrassing moments.

my most embarrassing moment

People, I am a piece of work.

My favorite (not the best word) embarrassing moment occurred when I was working as an administrative assistant at a very family-friendly company.

The “family-friendly” part is relevant to the story. You’ll see.

I say “family-friendly” because before I got the job, I was coached extensively on this fact by the person who recruited me for the position. Basically, I was reminded over and over and OVER again that conducting myself accordingly was of utmost importance.

Updated to add in 2012: I don’t know why I was so cryptic when I wrote this post originally. Disney, people. I was working for Disney at the time. OK, back to the story…

So on the day in question, I was quite new, hoping to make a good impression and in general, trying to go above and beyond the call of duty.

I walked into the cube (cubical) of a Senior Sales Manager, as was typical during the course of my day. Notice I said cube, not office, as in, a very, very large, open space with dozens of employees working behind 5-foot tall partitions that do nothing to drown out sound of any kind. Also relevant to the story. You’ll see.

Anyway, so I walked into his cube and noticed his suit coat tossed carelessly over a chair in the corner. Aha! I thought, an excellent opportunity to prove that I am a considerate, conscientious, can’t-live-without-me, fits-right-in, professional, FAMILY-FRIENDLY administrative assistant.

So I casually pointed to the coat and said, “Mark, you need a….a….”

Now, it was at this very moment that the clarity with which I had previously assessed the situation, suddenly escaped me. I knew in my head that I wanted to offer to locate some type of hook or hanger or other handy device on which to store his coat.

But the simple sentence that was so nicely put together in my brain somehow did not roll so smoothly off my lips.

In my desperate attempt to appear calm, cool and collected even as I stuttered and sputtered, the words “hook” and “hanger” got horribly mixed up in my brain and I finally (and LOUDLY…I was nervous you know) blurted out, “Mark, you need a hooker!”

Shall we let that sink in?

Oh yes, yes I did.

I stood in horror of course, realizing how positively UN-family-friendly it was that I just suggested my boss hire a prostitute. Within earshot of about 25+ of his colleagues. Many of whom knew I was a pastor’s wife at the time which totally enhanced my testimony, don’t you think?

As I begged God to add me to the ranks of Enoch and Elijah and beam me up quickly, Mark responded without missing a beat and with a casual sweep of his hand, “Oh, don’t we all.”

Um, well not exactly, but if I can’t be instantly transported to heaven, I guess I’ll take it.

Epilogue: I’m happy to report all that was lost was my pride.

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Comments

  1. says

    Love it! This got me thinking abut my moment (s)…there are at least 200. But my classic of all time was while I was playing trombone on tour with a ballet company. I thought the show was over and walked across the dark stage looking for the bathroom….then the lights came up and everyone started dancing around me in front of a packed house…no kidding…

  2. KLB says

    So funny! Thanks for the confidence to share your embarrassing moment! I had a similar one: Newly working at high respected Christian organization. Was issued my new blackberry, laptop, etc. In a meeting, I had put my bb on the table so I could see the time, but set it to vibrate rather than ring if a call came in. During the meeting my bb bounced all over the table and, embarrassed, I wanted to diffuse the situation, so I exclaimed, “Oh wow, my vibrator is really loud!” Situation NOT diffused! Everyone cracked up with me!

  3. Sj says

    It’s very late (or early depending on how you look at time). I am a Mom of 8 and a missionary/pastor’s wife. I am trying to start a blog but am struggling through. I love your blog. I read this site at night when the children are sleeping. Tonight, four kiddos were sleeping in my room. If I had known how funny this was going to be I would I would not have read it tonight. When my laughter awoke two children there was no way I could tell them why…We are family friendly around here. Thanks for the laugh.

  4. says

    Hahahahaha! This is made of awesome!

    I am a pastor’s wife right now, and a couple of months ago a bunch of us were standing around at the church talking after the service. Somebody brought up favorite t.v. shows and so they were talking about their favorites, and a couple sounded similar to shows my hubby likes.

    So I said “My husband’s favorite show is called Pornstars.”

    Sudden.Shocked.Silence.

    Of course, I was totally oblivious and since they were all quiet I thought THEY thought it was a lousy show. So I said, “No really, he likes it a lot!”

    Finally someone said “Nan, I don’t think you meant to say what you said.” and they all started laughing. I did too once they told me what I said, haha! I meant to say PAWNstars and I really needed to tell this story on my blog someday, lol!

  5. says

    Amy, that’s so funny! I worked at Disney as a temp eons ago, and I was warned about things, too. But it turned out that the people I worked with were all “normal” and very nice.

  6. says

    Amy, you crack me up! I’m so glad I read this now and not earlier this morning. I ended up in a horrible conflict with a “friend” this morning that has left me feeling kind of weighed down and yucky. This helped!

  7. says

    Oh, what fun to read that others have embarrassing moments as well! those times when if only a 90 mph wind would blow thru, or an earthquake that covered half the US would occur just so the focus is shifted!. Thanks for the gift of the giggle!!!

  8. Katie says

    LOL! Thank you for the giggle this morning! If it makes you feel any better, this totally sounds like something that would happen to me.

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