The Trouble with Blogging

Updated February 11, 2016

In February of 2010 I attended my first blogging conference. I was not new to blogging at the time. I had been blogging almost 6 years by then, but I was a closet blogger. Blogging had been a solitary outlet in my toddler-filled world.

I didn’t talk to other bloggers. I didn’t network. I didn’t comment on other blogs. I didn’t participate in any other form of social media (not that there were many back then).

I wasn’t interested in making money. I just wrote what swirled in my head and hit “Publish.” That was it. I enjoyed and appreciated the few people who were kind enough to read my blog and respond. I also really enjoyed learning the mechanics of blogging.

But by 2010, things were changing. My baby was 2. I was no longer breastfeeding continuously nor waking up 4-8 times a night (I’m not sure where people find those babies who actually sleep). Getting pregnant again didn’t seem to be on the horizon. We had made some huge life changes that afforded me a bit more time.

It was then that I decided to be a more purposeful blogger.

When I went to that conference, I felt like the biggest nobody in the world. Whenever I mentioned my blog, I got blank stares. I think my average daily pageviews were in the double digits at that point. Maybe. I talked to many bloggers who were making solid part- and full-time incomes and had been blogging a fraction of the time.

I was tormented by the question, “Where could I be now if I had done this 6 years ago?”

It was depressing.

Then I was in a session and Carmen from Mom to the Screaming Masses said this: “We need to stop comparing our insides to others’ outsides.”

Lightbulb moment.

Frankly, there were good reasons I had not been business-minded and purposeful in my blogging until then. I was struggling with motherhood. I was struggling with our current work and living situation.

Heck, in the summer of 2007, I was struggling to stay alive.

Simply put, blogging served a different purpose for me during those 6 years than it did for the women I met who were making money. My reality was vastly different than theirs.

I was doing myself a huge disservice by comparing their “outsides” to my “inside.”

You are you. I am me. Amazing Blogger over there is them. I’ve been at this blogging thing a long time and I’ll tell you what, back in the day, blogs were a bit rough around the edges. But now? Blogs are polished, spit-shined, photoshopped, staged and nothing short of lovely.

No one got there overnight.

I’m not knockin’ blogs. After all, I’m a blogger trying to make a living at this and I want my blog to look nice too. I like that bloggers are taking blogging seriously and I think it’s great that increased income has allowed for higher quality and a better user experience. I’m a huge fan of excellence and doing things well.

But never forget that what you see on the screen is not the whole picture.

Never forget that the people behind the blogs are, well, people, with unorganized cupboards, unmanaged time schedules, cranky children, painful stories, crafty train wrecks, struggling marriages, unpaid bills and burnt meat loaf. Or maybe that’s just me.

Never forget that their story and their journey and their choices apply to them, not to you.

Never forget that every single blogger was at one time exactly in the place you are today.

Never forget that you’ll meet new bloggers in the future who will wish they were where you are then.

You are who you are for a reason. You are where you are a for a reason.

Don’t beat yourself up for not being where someone else is. It’s a waste of time.

Appreciate everyone else’s outside, but embrace your inside.

Press on.

Want more encouragement?

Read 18 tips for new bloggers.

170 thoughts on “The Trouble with Blogging”

  1. Thank you for sharing that. I feel like I’m in that first 6 years that you were in. I like to blog and learn more about it but I also have four kids all at home with me (so I don’t have as much time as I would like). I don’t do it for money but sometimes feel the pressure that I should. It’s hard to keep the focus of why I started in the first place but your post is perfect! Thanks so much for your encouragement!! Blessings!

  2. I stopped focusing on my blog for a very long time because a group of women took my name so I focused on something else online that was making money for me. I wish I hadn’t stopped. Your post reminds me that I just need to hang in there, post about what I love to do which is help wahms with the techie part of their blogs, make money, and enjoy my family.

    Perhaps it will one day grow into what I intentionally started as in the late 90s.

    Thank you

  3. Amy,
    Thank you for your honesty and transparency concerning this topic.

    You are so right…it can be frustrating when you compare your own success with other’s.

    I have been in that boat myself.

    The best thing to do is learn from others but definitely do not try to duplicate or emulate what they have done.

    Be unique to your own self and the authenticity will come to light and people will take notice eventually 🙂

  4. Oh wow, so loved reading this story about you, knowing where you came from to now. I’ve been blogging for 10 years – to your 6 prior ‘upping the ante’ and only now I’m keen to go to the next stage. So I’ve been sitting here smiling and thinking, look Amy was there and now she’s here and I’m feeling hugely inspired and encouraged. Thank you!

  5. Hey Amy, This is really very very encouraging. I’ve been in job since 12 years and now when I see that how people are making their career using different tactics and earning really smart and living a good life, Somewhere I think why I didn’t chose this.

    Its feels very depressing but at the same time I use to think that my life conditions were totally different than theirs. May be they are living good life today, They also struggled a lot as I am doing today.

    we want to see the success but don’t want to do those sacrifices which are done by those people who are successful today.

    Today we are struggling, tomorrow may be we’ll be at some different success.

    I’ll not stop until I see myself where I want to be.

  6. Holy cow, I’m even late to this comment thread but still want to say thank you for writing this because even though my brain says ‘stop comparing’ it does so anyway.

  7. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve been blogging for nearly a year and needed to hear this. I enjoy what you share here and have learned so much!

  8. Again Amy, thank you. I know God lead me to you tonight. I have been blogging about two years and seemingly writting to my self most of the time. Really starting to get weary. You really helped me and encouraged me to hang in there. I will be an avid reader of all the information you have posted here because I know it is really for me. Please stop by my blog sometime and if you have comments good or not so good (smile) I will greatly appreciate it.
    Thank you, blessings

  9. Wow!

    Amy, it is refreshing to hear someone say it so straightforward as you do here. I blog for pleasure and in hopes that my experience will be of some value to one of my readers somewhere, but I’m new into exploring ways to build my readership.

    Thanks also for having a great source for the blogging community. I discovered your site last night when I was exploring how to create blog buttons. I’ve since been playing catch-up with your posts.

    Keep doing the great things you’re doing!

  10. I just read this & the post you linked to on your other blog; about your battles with depression.

    I so wish that more of us had people in our lives who could see that we are struggling with depression and would be willing to help us do something about it. I’ve struggled with depression on and off. These days I’m doing well and I’ve found that comparing myself to others can sometimes be a trap that sucks me into it.

    Sadly, we lost my step sis in law just a little over a week ago to suicide. And I’m really not sure if any of us saw it coming.

  11. I love your blog, I love the way you write, because somehow I feel just the same, but not like I am still unpolished with the blogging thing

  12. MaryBeth Slabbert

    Look at all your comments, girl! You are doing great. I really appreciated your post, as everyone else did. I feel like I’m in the same “rut” in my doula business. I started this on my own as a result of my births and experiences, and was SO passionate about it, that nothing could stand in my way. After a bit of a “fiasco” with another doula (whom apparently shared the same ideas with what I had for the community – which is great, by the way), I stepped back and found myself only looking towards the hurt and feeling like I needed to “keep up with the Joneses”. It was then that I realized that my passions were pushed aside and this had become exactly what I didn’t want it to become… a job, aka “business.” Your post serves as a great reminder to us all. Trust your gut. Keep it your passion. Look over the downfalls and press ahead to what you are called to do (in my case). Thanks for the encouragement!!!

  13. Thank you so much for posting this. I started a blog a while ago and love to write, but have already seemed to hit a block after a short period of time. I think a lot of it has to do with exactly what you are talking about. I’m ALREADY comparing myself to others. I sit down to write and I think, who the heck is going to want to read this? I’m not as funny, interesting, wise as the other blogs I read. I look at those blogs–the fancy designs, the great posts and I sit there and go why bother?

    I think I need to start to go back to writing for me and let the rest take care of itself. It’s just so hard, you know?

  14. thanks for the honest acct…eventually I mighgt start my own blog…you have inspired me one step at a time.

  15. Thank you for the needed reality check. Your words speak to my heart as I too often waste my precious time by playing the dangerous comparison game! Thank you.

  16. Adair knutowicz

    I”m on the brink of “Blogging”….but unsure of all the aspects that it would entail. Thank you for posting this. Do you have any recommendations for someone like myself? Any sites to “explain” where/how to begin. My life has been a long, long journey…..hard does not even begin to explain it, but i think this is the next step. Any help you or others have to offer will be appreciated.

  17. Amy,
    I could not have come to this post at a better time. I have been struggling with ALL of this daily since attending Relevant ’11 (my first blogging conference). While part of me knows that what you are saying is true ( I heard you say it there too), it is nice to be reminded of it again now that the “rush” is over and my blog has not launched to fame. 😉 Shocking?!? Thanks for your honesty and all you do to encourage “baby” bloggers. 🙂

  18. “Wonderment” has been the word I would use to describe blogging over the last 6 years–specifically concerning parenting. My experiences are much as you have described. Sharing them will surely benefit us, however, you are the true beneficiary. You have set for yourself a delightful set of goals to direct you to YOUR success!

  19. Thank you for this post. As you know it is very hard starting out and it is easy to get frustrated. I don’t know how many times I’ve felt like I am wasting my time. You have inspired me–thank you!

  20. Thank you Amy for all the information and inspiration. I come back to your blog again and again learning something new each time. My blog is not even close to what I want it to be but I am improving it week by week.

  21. Amy,

    I can so relate! There are many times I wonder what the heck I’m doing, but I try not to get into that hole where it’s working for everybody else and it’s not working for me. And like Maryann says, ” Life is too short to compare. Just do what you like and enjoy it for what it means to you.”

  22. So true. Thank you for posting this!! Sometimes I look at the blogs and wonder how their lives are so “perfect” but then I realize that some of them only share the good parts. I like blogs that share the good and the bad. 🙂

  23. Wonderful post! How true. I have the same struggle too … not just with blogging, but in many parts of my life. Reading reminders like this is SO important! Thanks for sharing!

  24. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts and exposing part of yourself to us. It helps to know that not every blogger is ‘Home Perfect’. If we could all spend prime time on our blogs, and know what we are doing and where we are going, the blog world would most definitely be a dull place, lacking diversity and realism. I’m a blogger with absolutely NO computer knowledge, but I work with it as well as I can. Dialysis steals 3 days days of my week away, so my time has to be split so many ways when I’m home, that blogging seems to have fallen back a bit. I’m trying to make money at it, but no ads are appearing. That in itself is disconcerting, but, what can I do? That frustration, I think, has led to my lack of posts lately, so I must pull myself up by the straps and get to work. A double edged sword for sure. Thanks again, for being human and not afraid to admit it!

  25. This is just a great post and I really needed this today. It’s so hard not to compare yourself to other bloggers – at least it is to me. I ask myself where would I be if I started this X years ago all the time. You’re right. We do need to remember that we are not seeing the whole picture. We see the huge numbers but that isn’t necessarily the whole picture. Thank you!

  26. Thank you-this is a great post & you worded it so well! This statement “by comparing their “outsides” to my “inside.” will hit home with not only me but many many bloggers. You did a great service by posting this today. I forget that I am a real person with real issues that I sometimes leave out of my blog because I don’t ‘want others’ to know my struggles. But that makes part of me-me… 🙂 Thank you once again!

  27. Thanks for the post! I am super lazy about blogging, but jeez how many social networks can we be part of really? I feel like I could replace “blogging” with so many things in life. I feel out of place almost 95% of the time, wherever I am! But its nice to hear someone else say it! 🙂

  28. I wasn’t expecting to read this and cry. stinkin’ tears …stinkin’ hormones:) yes. yes i so agree with this. in fact i write on this from time to time and everytime I do my readers vacate stalking mode and make a noise to let me know they read it and liked it:)

    i was struggling with this today. again. i have been blogging for a very long time. almost 6 years. i know some of the “bigger” bloggers when they had very few followers. that being said i have had 3 blogs before i have the one i focus on now. i constantly beat myself up for not focusing on it sooner…for not sticking with my original blog. where would i be now? but then in the same breath i recognize that i don’t know if i can handle anything else other than where i am at. 🙂 regardless, it’s easy to feel left out. and yes. i’ve been to relevant. twice:)

    1. I hear ya on the need to focus!! I’ve started so many blogs too and I keep changing my mind. If only I had stuck with any of them longer than I did…oh man, I’d be so much further along. But, I think you and I are true entrepreneurs, lots of ideas, always thinking of new things. It’s not such a bad quality to have! 🙂

  29. My “most popular blog” is about this very same subject. It even got me on a radio show! It’s sad that so many feel they can’t be “real”. Like most young mothers, I fight to find time to blog, so I haven’t written too many posts since that one. However, I am trying to make it a point to NOT gloss things over. I don’t think it’s prudent to “air dirty laundry” so-to-speak, but there’s definitely value in being sincere and honest about how you are really feeling. It makes a blogger more relatable. (P.s. I don’t think I have ever commented here before, so please let me quickly say…you have helped me so much in this blogging endeavor! Thank you!! It’s obvious you put in a lot of hard work!)

  30. Oh yeah. I am an author and publisher with a very busy business life, and I decided to blog because everyone said it was good for sales. Little did I know it is much more. I like to blog but I’ve let the pressure valve off and just do what I want the way I want. I might have maybe 200 followers, and I follow some amazing blogs with 5000! Who cares?!?! Life is too short to compare. Just do what you like and enjoy it for what it means to you.

  31. I started blogging 14 days ago and I feel the exact same way! Plus the whole I’m not worthy of being in a group with all those other great bloggers/teachers/moms… Thanks for putting it into words and sharing 🙂

  32. Love this post! I have been on again off again blogging. I have NUMEROUS friends who seem to have this blogging thing come so naturally to them while I struggle along. Thanks to your post I will keep on keeping on, the way I have been, until I feel the need to change it because I want to change… not simply because everyone else is doing something so I must have to do it too.
    I am me, and this is how I am doing it for ME… for now anyway.

  33. Nice post! Timely, too. I finally made the switch to WordPress this year (yeah!), and boy, I think if there’s a mistake to be made, I’ve made it. I’ve got no one local to lean on, and so many of the online forums seem to assume that you’re familiar with the terminology (which I am not). The last couple of weeks have been a struggle. Still, I’m making progress, and hope that eventually I will get everything sorted out. I can only do what I can do, and fretting about anything else is just a waste of time.

  34. Thanks AMy for a great post! Wow! I just spent the last 30 min. reading your links in the post. It is very true what you say. It is easy to get discouraged, especially being somewhat new to this blogging thing 🙂 Good stuff AMy and high five for sharing your story!

  35. Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m new to the blogging community and I feel a bit discouraged sometimes with the amount of competition out there. I just have to remind myself that I started my blog because I think I have interesting information to share and I enjoy writing. I’ll keep working at it because it’s something I enjoy. Thanks for the inspiring words!

  36. I totally agree with everything you said in this post, and it can be applied to many other facets of our lives as well; work, hobbies, homes, school, just to name a few. Thanks for another well written and helpful post.

  37. Great words! So often it is so easy to see other bloggers out there doing amazing things and think to myself…well I can do that, can’t I? And then I ask myself, do I want to sacrifice {insert priority here} to make it big? For me, no. For someone else, yes. It is a tricky but lovely thing that anyone can be a blogger. So we are always comparing to others yet, just like you said, we all have different stories, different backgrounds, different reasons for blogging, and different priorities. Your words are very encouraging and applicable to any and all bloggers no matter their popularity status!

  38. Jessica @ The Abundant Wife

    Thank you for writing this! I’ve been tithing for 9 months while raising two toddlers (ages 1 & 2). I try to work on my blog often, but you know…life keeps on happening. Your words are very encouraging, so thank you!

  39. 2011 was the year of learning for me and I am so much further ahead today than I was a year ago; what I sometimes ask myself is where would I be if I spent my 20s having the focus I have today. Of course, maybe the experience of my 20s is what is allowing me to be more focused today.

    Thanks for your great site; I’ve learned a great deal from you since I started following.

    1. Sometimes I think the same thing, but I know that who I am today is a culmination of what I’ve experienced in the past. I’ve gotta remind myself to just keep moving forward and not spend too much time dwelling on the woulda, coulda, shouldas. That’s easier said than done for me though. 🙂

  40. I really agree with this, and appreciate the observation that we all have our own blogging journeys that we are on. I am a SAHM to three little ones and my husband is in graduate school right now, and I would love to make money off of blogging because we could use the money, but I also know that for me personally, it is incredibly hard to find the time. I’m working on getting my home together first and streamlining my time so that I can then do something with that time. I also read your link about your struggle with depression and found it so encouraging – I feel so exhausted sometimes and you don’t hear too many moms talking about how hard it can really be.

  41. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate reading this post, Amy. I just came upon your blog today, via a post on William-Sonoma, Inc.’s Designer Marketplace blog, titled ‘Pinterest for Designers’, written by Melissa Michaels, where she had a link to one of your previous posts on ‘How to Watermark a Photo (and Edit Images in Picnik)’ which was very helpful, by the way, and I started reading this post, ‘The Trouble with Blogging’. For the past couple of years, I think I’ve been suffering from ‘comparison-itis’!. With this one post, you’ve given me the confidence and encouragement to just dive in and go with the flow! Thank you for keeping it real, and being so inspiring to soon-to-be-bloggers, like me! 🙂

  42. I loved this. Thanks for writing it. You have perfectly captured my own thoughts at various stages of my blogging “career” (haha).

  43. Damn! So I’m not going to be even close to the first on the commenting like you said I should be! Thanks for the post, this is something I needed to hear. I have been guilty of doing a little comparing outsides with my insides lately.

    P.S. Am a new subscriber and absolutely LOVE and find great value in your posts!

  44. That was a great pep talk. I was just talking to my husband about my struggles and hopes for my blog. Thank you for this post. It made me feel better, and gives me encouragement.

  45. Great article! I’m back where you were 6 years ago & it’s a great reminder to remember why I’m doing it…for love, not money. Money would be great eventually too, but right now, I have something to say and am happy for anyone who wants to hear it. I’ve got a unique story to share after 12 deaths & 4 moves in 3 years…I’m trying to find peace in the middle of hurricanes and help other people do the same. I’d like to think if I say something good, people will come like that “If you build it, they will come.” Like you said, your insides can’t be compared to someone else’s outsides. Such a great reminder. I’m sure you’ll get lots of hits on this post!

  46. I catch myself doing that sometimes, comparing my blog to others. Then I remember, this is ME not them, and everything will happen in the right time if I will just keep doing what’s right for me. Thanks!

  47. found this post by way of 504main. I couldn’t agree with you more. I am a food blogger…and attended my first conference (although i now call it sorority rush) last spring. i have been blogging for fun for 3 years and have grown slowly and organically…which i thought was great…until i met the other bloggers. it was all about, click on mine and i will click on yours, fancy cameras and meta manipulation. i was very disenchanted. it took me a bit to shake it all off….but i found my footing again and am carrying on doing what i love to do–tell stories and make delicious food. thank you for so articulately expressing what many are feeling. have a great weekend!

  48. Thanks for the post, Amy. It’s my first time here (via Crafterminds), and I really needed to read this. If I made money based on the amount of time I spend comparing my blog to other people’s blogs, I’d be a millionaire. But it is, for the most part, a colossal waste of time, isn’t it? Thanks for the reminder!


  49. Thank you for this. I struggle at lot with this. I have only been blogging for a little over a year, and not consistently until a couple months ago. I have 3 small children so have struggled with finding the time. I am also in food blogging so am always comparing the beautiful pictures I see on other sites with my very mediocre photos. I see people that started blogging about the same time I did and they seem to be doing so much better than me. Thank you for reminding me to just be me and do what I can and “let it be”. I absolutely love your blog and it is a real inspiration to me.

  50. I needed that. I love blogging…but mainly for putting the thoughts in my head out there in case it could help anyone. But I am seeing that, having an ebook…is the ‘new black’. lol. And for the last two months, I have tried to make myself put one together because….I have no idea. I guess I just wanted to be in the ‘cool’ group. 😉 Just yesterday, though, I realized that if an ebook comes out of my stuff…super cool. In the meantime, my kids are small, I’m going to enjoy them {take their pics and scrapbook ’em}, enjoy my days {read a few books, eat some chocolate}, and simply be thankful that I have a blog to ‘call my home’. Appreciate this post. Especially from a super cool author/super brilliant blogger. {yeah…no pressure there, right…? lol}

  51. Thank you for writing this post. I do compare myself to others sometimes and it makes me feel bad. I am fairly new to blogging and I really enjoy it until I try to be someone I’m not or care too much about the wrong things.

  52. Wow….thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this…..well actually you do. I have some many wanna do’s and wanna be’s this year for my blog. So far I haven’t even been able to post for over a week!! And if you look over at “amazing Blogger” over there its just depressing and totally overwhelming!! I need to tell myself, I’m me and my blog is me and that is PERFECTLY OK!! Thanks again. It’s my first time here. The AMAZING Kim with Todays Creative Blog shared this on her FB page. So glad I clicked over. I’ll definitely be back. 🙂

    1. Like my dad always says, “Just be yourself, Aim, just be yourself.” So I say it to all of us as well. 🙂 Thanks for stoppin’ by!

  53. Wow, Thank you for this post. I have followed your blog for over a year and keep all of them in a folder to reference. You are my mentor and thanks for your wisdom.

  54. Great post Amy – i think this applies to all things in life – comparisons can drive us crazy in life especially when we have no idea what goes on behind the scenes- someone else may have a big house and cars but have debt up to their eyeballs, or a woman may be thin and well dressed but have a husband who ignores her at home.
    I make an effort every day (but it is hard!) with my blog to put some blinders on and not worry about what other people are doing – take the lessons i can from blogs like yours and read to gain new skills, but know that my blog will develop on its own path if it is to stay authentically mine.

  55. *tears*…very moved by your post today and thank you for sharing it right now. Been feeling a whole lot of that lately with all the expectations (mine mainly) and not wanting to let anyone down especially my babies. Sometimes I kick myself more because my vision is bigger than me and so I feel I am not moving fast enough. does that make sense. Each day I remind myself to just go with it and then every now and then I get hit with the “I really suck” cloud. Well, I need to go with that feeling too and recognise now that it just means I’m up for big stuff and this is part of the journey. Thanks Amy for all you tips, tricks and being a REAL online person. Blessings to you all the way from Australia.

  56. Amy – thank you so much for clarifying my thoughts on this. My readership is small, but very loyal. I get comments with each post. I blog as an outlet for my writing. I work a very demanding job. I can either have time to write and enjoy myself, or I can take time to build traffic, advertising, self-hosting, etc., but then I won’t have time to write.

    Just like you write about, that may change at some point, but for now I’m content with where I am.


  57. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Until you wrote it, I didn’t realize I was feeling it! I feel so free now!

  58. So, so good, Amy!! And so for me too! 🙂 I struggle with comparing myself to so-and-so blogger that has a better looking blog, better looking house (at least in the pictures she posts), and makes more money than me.

    Going to bookmark this post and come back and read it when I feel that way.

    Thanks for sharing your heart and for sharing your blogging wisdom! I would be lost in wordpress without you!! 🙂

  59. Good advice to keep in mind. Thank you. 🙂
    Especially when I read your remembrance of your blog ‘only’ having double digits daily readership. Mine does well to be in the single digits monthly.

  60. Amy – you are so honest and tell it like it is – thank you for being so genuine with us and what a beautiful post!!! You are so right in everything you say and this was so good to hear. Thank you and kudos for all that you do!!!

  61. I deal with this issue, too.
    I often bounce between criticizing myself and loving myself.
    Then there’s the aspect of wanting to love myself without excusing lazy behavior!
    I hope to work on this in 2012 and I hope to pass on to my children some wonderful advice about dealing with this in their life, too!

    1. “Then there’s the aspect of wanting to love myself without excusing lazy behavior!”

      Oh, that’s true too! It’s a huge balancing act. I seem to make a habit of swinging from one extreme to the other. One day I’m gonna find the middle! Thanks, Rebecca. 🙂

  62. I love this! This is so what I needed to hear today. What a wonderful concept, not to compare who you know you are inside to what you just see on the outside of someone else. Thank you for posting.

  63. Thanks Amy! Glad to know I’m not the only one who does that. And judging by the comments, we’re not the only two! I’ve been doing this for six months and still don’t have any real readers (that I know of) and the only comments I seem to get is the occasional spam. I started wondering why I even bother. But I will keep at it, keep looking to the successful blogs for inspiration and be thankful for where I am right now. 🙂

  64. Amen, amen, & amen! Comparing ourselves to others is the antithesis of confidence. In design terms, it is the juxtaposition of confidence.

    Amy, truer words have never been typed when you remark, “Never forget that the people behind the blogs are, well, people…with unorganized cupboards, unmanaged time schedules (ahem!), cranky children (ahem again!), painful stories, crafty train wrecks, struggling marriages, unpaid bills and burnt meat loaf.” Buying into the fallacy that perfection exists is counterproductive. We all need to believe in our own sense of perfection, what we define it as, and put the period at the end of comparison sentence.

  65. I would do well to print and tape this right to the top of my computer screen! It’s so easy to see the huge successes of other bloggers and either get jealous or feel defeated. But the truth is, there isn’t room or cause for either. When we see someone who is doing well we need to look at them and find out why. That information will show us that is wasn’t overnight or easy, and we can learn from them. I’ve chosen to look at successful bloggers as mentors, partners, or at the very least, pioneers who have gone before me and educated the audience, building demand for what I now have to offer.
    I love how you said that when you looked at the success of others and then looked back at what you could have been doing, you realized that your situation was different and you hadn’t even been aiming at the same target. We need to keep the whole package of life in perspective when we’re looking at someone else’s “success” because that particular “success” in our life might look a lot like failure because it doesn’t fit.
    Anyway, I didn’t mean to be so wordy. It just happens that I’ve been thinking along these lines and writing some articles about it all morning.
    Thanks for writing this, I’m glad a friend “introduced” me to you.

    1. “I’ve chosen to look at successful bloggers as mentors, partners, or at the very least, pioneers who have gone before me and educated the audience, building demand for what I now have to offer.”

      I love that perspective. Yes!

  66. WOW if EVER a post could have been talking to me! I am in a “crossroads if you will right now as I have been blessed to have been home with my children for the past 5 years but with my youngest getting ready to start school in September it’s time I get a “job” I think sure I can get something that will not make me happy or make an income from home but that is where my problem & brick wall lies.. I also look about the Bloggy world and am amazed at what I see then I say WHAT is my blog but lots of really rambling but in reality its my rambling world wind of a life.. I need to remember that & just Let it me be ME. Thanks for the reminder.

  67. My friend Gillian commented on this blog post and so I read it – so encouraging and a great reality-check. I compare myself way to often and it is the biggest joy-killer. Thanks for your honesty about the real you.


    1. Yes, a joy-killer. That is so true! I needed to be reminded of that as I was just telling my husband a few weeks ago that I really feel a lack of joy. Thanks for making that connection for me, Joy. 🙂

  68. This is so important to remember. Lots of blogs show only the top layer of our lives. I just posted a clutter corner on my house blog. Trying to keep it real.

    I know about depression from being the depressed person and knowing the depressed person. It’s hard either way.

  69. Thanks for writing the post I asked you to right at Relevant…this was deliciously behind the scenes and ‘you’ with a great take-away. I feel like it was just for me. Oh, and a very timely reminder. Bless you. 🙂

  70. Thanks for the reminder. I tell myself that I blog only for myself, as an outlet, and a way to make myself write on a regular basis. But somehow I always manage to compare myself. Our fascination with social media is nearly a disease. We need too keep it in perspective.

  71. Thanks, Amy- just what I need to hear, over and over again! I’ve only recently discovered your blog and hope to dig in more and figure out what the heck I’m doing! 🙂

  72. Thanks for your honesty, Amy. It’s hard to NOT compare yourself at other, bigger, more beautiful blogs! I know I struggle with this also – (I’m very new – only three months in!) so it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone. I try to remind myself that God will do with my blog what He wills – and that is sufficient as I’m not in to be a “big” blog…..although a little extra income eventually would certainly be alright with me. ::wink:: God bless you!

    1. Rhonda,
      🙂 You are right about God doing with He will. When I started my blog in July, no one helped me promote it, I had a few likes per day. Every day I was seeking God and not looking to my bog as some source of fulfillment. Little did I know God put His hand over my blog and facebook pages and it blew up over a few months. God will bring favor when He deems it’s the right time. Be patient. 🙂

  73. I loved this. I have been blogging for almost two years and recently decided to make it more of a business and less of a hobby…and it can sometimes be hard NOT to compare myself to others. Thanks for the reminder!

  74. Thanks for sharing Amy! I have been following your blog for about a year now and I love how you put things in perspective. When I first started, I wanted 10,000 followers and to make big money. I always wondered why so many different blogs were being contacted with “XYZ” brand but they were not contacting me. I have since learned to just focus on my blog and brand. There may be a million blogs out there and mine make 1 million and 1, but there is still room for me.

  75. I have always appreciated your writing Amy….and the reason is that you are yourself. I like people’s stories, not people trying to advertise or sell. That is what a true blog is and you’re good at it! 😉


  76. Amy, I so needed to hear this right this minute. I am a new blogger. I have felt the Lord telling me for some time now that a window of opportunity was opening me up to try blogging. I spent last week reading all your “how to set up a blog post” got one up and “limping” and have written two posts. BUT, I can’t seem to get the comment section to work on mine. I have tried deactivating all plug ins (except jetpack) I tried searching for help, but have found it no where, I feel like I am a blog failure, it seems like I have failed at the simplest of tasks. I have been saying all morning “Lord, how can you tell me to blog when I am this slow at this, I can’t even get a comment box to work” . I am in tears once again. But I am not going to give up, I have got to find a way. I spent all my Christmas money registering a domain and getting hosting for a wordpress blog, if it’s one without comments well then so be it. Perhaps God doesn’t think I am up to handling comments right now, and when He does, I guess I will. For now I will just keep inching forward,

  77. Thank you so much for writing this. I haven’t heard that quote and I love it…I think I need to put it up somewhere so it will remain a visible reminder.

    I remember meeting you at Blissdom in 2010. I had read your earlier blog and immediately knew who you were. I felt honored to get to spend some time with you then and have really enjoyed watching you grow into the amazing blogger you are now!

  78. Amy,
    This post is so honest and real, I will echo what others have said here: Thank you for reminding us to stop comparing ourselves to others.
    In reading your My Rock Bottom post, I cried, it’s just that moving. I LOVE that you ended it with: I hit bottom… and there was my Rock. As a sister in Christ, that is a powerful message that will stay with me today and on my journey as a blogger and a Christian.

  79. I love this post, Amy! Thank you so much for reminding me that “You are who you are for a reason. You are where you are a for a reason.” 🙂

  80. Thank you again for writing THAT “rock bottom” post. You and I have talked about how that was an eye-opener for me.
    I kinda feel like you did. This year, now that we have been out of ministry for a while and I am doing better, my husband challenged me to put effort into blogging and photography and stop putting it off. (yikes! I just actually ordered Photoshop cs5!)
    Thanks for the encouragement here. 🙂

  81. This is my favorite post so far on this site – just what the doctor ordered. I kick myself all the time for getting into blogging so late in the game – trying to play catch up now with some of the other great bloggers seems overwhelming. Thanks for the encouragement – going to try to stop comparing!

  82. Are you in my head?!! This is exactly where I’m at. I’ve been blogging for 4.5 years and am hovering around the triple digit line for daily visitors. I look at other bloggers who also have a houseful of kids, homeschool, blog daily, are all over social media, work with big name sponsors and appear to maintain organized and clean homes. And then I look at myself. Still in my pjs at noon. Up all hours of the night to write because that’s when it’s quiet in my house. Dirty dishes piled all over the counters, etc…

    And I wonder… what am I doing wrong? I’m working and working and see little progress. What is it other bloggers are doing that I can’t seem to get right.

    So, I’m taking your words to heart and reminding myself not to compare my blog/life to others’. But to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and working to reach my goals.

  83. Probably my favorite post I’ve ever read at Blogging with Amy:)

    Thanks for the reminder and encouragement. I truly look forward to your posts.

  84. I love the honesty! I’ve been blogging a while, too, but have only recently been serious about growing my blog. It can get discouraging at times. Thank you for being real!

  85. Thank you so much for this post!! As a blog newbie. . . well, infant really! . . . . I’m looking forward to watching my blog unfold and count it as joy because it shares a little of my ‘insides’ – not because of my view count #’s. 😉

  86. As a new blogger (One year in March!), I am constantly comparing myself to my favorie bloggers. Thanks you for the reminder that I’m ok just where I am. I am God’s unique creation unlike any other. My success, or lack of, has nothing to do with the success of others. 🙂

  87. good one, Amy, thanks! there’s always someone more “successful” but we have to constantly remind ourselves that we’re the only ones who can be us and like you said, we’re us for a reason.

  88. I have given myself this pep talk more times than I care to admit. It’s difficult not to compare when you’re out there networking and seeing all the “pretty” put out there. I just have to remember I’m also trying to put the “pretty” out there and I’m sure there is someone who thinks I’ve got it going on.

  89. This is such a great post! It is so hard to not compare yourself to others. I am trying to get my little craft blog up and running and it is so hard to not compare myself to the other amazing craft bloggers out there. But then, I have to remember, I have two small kids at home and I do what I can! Each of us has our own situation and strengths and weaknesses. This is a good thing to think about in all aspects of our life and try to focus on being happy on where you are right now. 🙂

  90. Thank you Amy! As always, this is so timely for me!! My first blog didn’t go anywhere, even after I put my heart and soul into it for two years. I think it’s because I was constantly comparing myself to other women who had it all together. I’m going to try again, but just be ME and not compare.

    You are such a blessing Amy! If I remember correctly, you were at Relevant 2010? (it was either you or someone who looked like you) During one of the session, you read the passage about picking up our mats. It really stuck with me. (and if it wasn’t you, I’m sorry!! :))

  91. Love this… Thank you for sharing. started from friends who encouraged us to minister/help to other foster parents. Share advices, stories, etc. Its been a great experience and everything I’ve learned was from your site (thanks again). I’m still very much a new blogger. Sometimes I find myself it the compare game but then I get the reminder that it’s not about numbers or even getting the investment back it’s about helping foster families. I’ve said from day one, as long as it helps one person then it’s all worth it and at that it’s been successful.

    Blessings your way!

  92. Awesome! I am very new to this and started blogging just like you, kind of like a journal. Now, I am hoping to turn it into something more. One thing I want to do is stay authentic to who I am without scaring people away. Part of the reason I choose the name Chaotically Creative was because of how I feel most of the time. Chaos is a part of everyday life you either let it kill you or you embrace it. I am so thankful for your blog. I love the videos and hearing children in the background, I know it’s real and your real and that makes all the difference.

  93. Love this! I have a hard time remembering not to compare, and I often find myself discouraged or beating myself up because I feel like I’m not trying hard enough. If I really threw myself into my blog I’m sure I could make it something bigger and more lucrative, but that doesn’t fit with my circumstances right now. I know my time will come, I just need to remember to be patient.

  94. Hey Amy! Great motivational post. The first time I heard that type of concept it was phrased like this: ‘don’t compare what you know about yourself with what you don’t know about someone else’. That really woke me up too! Thanks for the reminder.

  95. Wow. I needed that today. I’m a recovering People-Pleaser and sometimes I get discouraged about how many things I could/should do better with my blog. Thank you so much for these great principals that effect every area of life.

  96. What a good topic Amy, it’s true that I tend to compare my blog to others and I always wishes that I have something to say or have more traffic, more comments and so on…
    But then, It use to be for fun that I started to blog and not the other way around, having to work for fun! Thank you for sharing
    Sonia xo

  97. This is an honest and great post! My friend and I have been following a few of the same blogs for years and feeling as though we weren’t doing enough with our little ones at home compared to others. Then one day my friend mentioned to me “Do you notice how many blogs have little ones in pajamas in their photos?” At the time I had to drop off my high school son at 7:00 with a 2 year old in tow. Just made my day to think we all have different sides of our lives and we don’t always see them.

  98. Thank you so much for this post. You have a way of really expressing how many of us feel inside. I am sharing this. Thanks again!!!

  99. Amy, thank you so much for being real! There are so many days I feel so inadequate and the Lord reminds me of the big picture- Him and my family. 🙂 I’m just thrilled to have finally gotten my stupid blog set up correctly! That in and of itself should be considered a major accomplishment! Anyway, thanks for the post!

  100. Amazing post, Amy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I know a lot of bloggers {myself included at times} who compare themselves with other bloggers, and that’s always a no-win situation. I think it’s fine to admire other bloggers, and it’s even fine to take some pointers from them. But when we can’t see the entire picture, it’s not fair to us – or to them – for us to make judgments and assumptions. We’re each who we are, and that’s by God’s design.

  101. have been my “somebody” for awhile now. Whenever I get an email asking how to start, I always point them in your direction. As for me feeling like a nobody, I used to…but quickly got over that when I accepted I’m not as die hard as most other bloggers in my genre. I greatly enjoy what I do, but I’m not doing it to be huge and I will not allow my blog to consume my life. That doesn’t make me feel like a failure, because if anything, it makes me feel like a winner for having my priorities straight.

  102. Thank you for the insight and encouragement today Amy… I needed it. I always seem to compare myself with others. Thinking I should be doing what they’re doing, how much they’re doing, etc. But the truth is I need to be me and do what works for my blog and my readers.

    I appreciate the reminder. 🙂

  103. Awww, such a sweet post Amy. And so true. It’s so hard to not feel like a failure every time you see someone else’s success. And so easy to forget where you’re at and why! Such the perfect reminder for me! Thank you!

  104. I love this post. I have struggled with this. My blog has grown quite a bit but lately I am feeling “pressured” to be “labeled”. Am I DIY, humor, family life, thrift ??? I actually talk about it in today’s post because it has been many reader’s questions. What is my label? My answer: My blog is about……me. I share thrift, family, DIY, humor and heart. If you are looking for just one topic, you are at the wrong place. Will I run some off…maybe…. but I think I drew them in falsely expecting what I was trying to “copy”. Once I found out there were so many other blogs out there…..which I really didn’t know…..mine became a “jumbly mess” of them all. I am stepping back. My blog needs clarity. When I look back, the times that my blog has grown the most is when I was just being “me”. When I didn’t know that so many other wonderful blogs existed. Great post. Good gracious…can you tell it hit home? I DO talk too much. Love, Me

    1. I totally agree. The same is true of my blog. The problem I have, though, is that if I’m bring me, that’s how I get the big jumbly mess without clarity. I’ve debated whether I need three separate blogs! Help!

  105. Way to go, Amy! Great post! Enjoy what you’re doing…and enjoy your littles while they are still little, now that they are not longer exhaustingly tiny. 🙂


    Annie Kate

  106. Thanks, just simply thanks. I’ve been trying to put my Comparison Monster to bed for a week now. I read a quote that says ‘comparison is the enemy of contentment’ and while it is so very very true, it is easy to know that with your head but still struggle with it in your heart! Thanks for the super post.

  107. I was privileged to sit at your table during the first ever Savvy Blogging dinner at Blissdom ’10. You encouraged my heart then, and you continue to do it now. Thanks for the reminder that my life is different from everyone else’s, and it’s OK for my blog goals to be, too! I needed that today.

  108. Amen!!!! 🙂
    Thank you, because I need to remind myself of this daily! I even started the year off with a post with my only “resolution” for the year…to stop comparing myself to others!
    Blessings on you and your family, Amy!

  109. Amy – so do you secretly have a camera and mic installed in my home? You won’t believe how much I compare myself to others. Guess it’s a woman thing -really.

    My page loads have gone through the roof this week with some really nice posts and yet I have been telling my husband what a failure I feel like due to some really tough personal issues going on and then, of course, I’ll see other bloggers who tell me how tired they are and yet their plans are to come out w/ 2 e books this year, start multiple series and they are pregnant with 1-2 little kiddos already.

    My husband’s advice – “knock it off – you are doing great!” – and then he reminds me that God, family and others are the priority.

    Yes, the blog serves others, but come on. We all need to be true to ourselves and our situations.
    Thanks for a beautiful post and for being so real. I try to be real w/ my readers too. Life is hard. That’s just the way that it is.


  110. Great posting! I am brand spankin’ new to this blogging and am really getting into, but of course can not run with the big guys by no means. Double digit visits would be awesome at this point! lol You do great work, and I really enjoy your postings 🙂

  111. Awww, Amy!!!! That’s where we met. I’ll always remember that, and that we kept running in to each other, and I’m so glad we did. {Also, I’m glad that you like me, even though I was trying so hard not to throw up the whole time.} 😉

    P.S. Hi! Is this the first comment I’ve left here? I’m a bad bloggy friend…

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